MARCH

March.  The weather is chilly and I have a cold.  It doesn't appear to be letting up anytime soon. There is snow on the mountains surrounding us but none in the valley.  We have been assualted by rain for days that the ground hardly has a chance to dry. 

For those (all of one person) who reads this I have news to tell.  My oldest turned 20 on the 8th and I feel old.  My nephew took home State Championship in Wrestling for his weight division.  We are really proud of him.  He has a long and promising career in Wrestling. 

I still struggle with the perils of being a single mom and my boys don't make it any easier.  Every day is a struggle.  I keep writing and reaching for my goals so as not to lose sight of what I want. 

Life moves fast.  Keeping up isn't the hard part its living it to the fullest and making your dreams come alive.

Well, I hope I can keep up with my entries a little more than I have been.  But for now this is me. 

I know I don't update as much as I should.  Life just doesn't give me time and I have so many other things I need to do.  The holidays always bring a sense of longing to my life.  I long to be traveling the world and seeing all that it has to offer. 

I watched Bridget Jones last night and it made the urge to escape even greater.  I love the scenes of England, the lure of a foreign country and all its old world cultures mixed with modern day.  Don't get me wrong the States has some great places to visit too but there is something about Europe that calls out to me.

I cannot believe its already October.  The years just fly by faster than I can keep track of them.  I haven't done much writing lately.  I need to get back to it.  The other day I went through a box of my writing, older stuff that I had let sit and collect dust.  I had forgotten all about those ideas but once I glanced over the pages the first ideas came back to me as if they were never set aside and forgotten. 

I've been trying to keep busy so that I won't get restless.  I cleaned my garage, now if I could just get rid of all the clutter.  Out with the old, start with the new. 

The stress of daily life is taking its toll.  Although, I try to keep a chin up it seems life and all its little quirks keep beating me down. 

My youngest son refuses to go to school because his teacher belittled him in front of the whole class.  Now I have to go have it out with the principal and get him changed to a new class.  My son is a typical boy and I was offended when his teacher called and suggested I put him on meds.  I know its a touchy subject with a lot of people but I don't believe in medicating my son for being himself.  I have argued with my good friend whose son is on medication for ADHD.  That is her choice and she knows her son best.  Therefore, I know my son best and although he can try a monk's patience I refuse to stifle him by putting him on medicine.  I don't feel it was the teacher's place to suggest it.  He isn't a doctor and he doesn't know what's best for my child. 

To top it off I put in for a transfer at the hospital I work at and got the position.  My current director is lagging on my release so that is dangling over my head.  I can feel the weight of the world on my shoulders.  At least the weight of my world. 

I haven't really written anything in months and its getting to me.  Writing is my therapy.  There are days after I do write that I feel this enormous release and I want to bounce through my day.  I need that bounce right about now.  

Nothing comes when forced.

Winter is coming.  I can feel it in the air and notice it in the shortness of days.  Although, there are many things I love about winter I think the cold I hate the most.  I'm not ready to put away the summer sun or the croaking of frogs in the creek behind our house.  I will miss the laughter of children, the sparkling stars shining down from a clear sky, and a sense of freedom to enjoy all the sights and sounds of summer that makes the child in all of us come alive.

I looked forward to the holidays: Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years all hitting us in an unstoppable succession.  They bring with them a sense of family gatherings and a old traditions. 

I'm not looking forward to the rush of time where we never stop to take a breath between shopping and work.  The stress of life tramples over our galant efforts to bring a piece of our past to our children's future.  I want things the way they were when I was a child.  I want to know my child feels the wonderment of winter's bounty.  But it seems that things are much different now. 

In California there isn't snow.  We sometimes get rain and I make the effort to stop and splash the puddles with my son.  One is never to old to let their inner child loose.  I am looking forward to cuddling up under a quilt and listening to the rain while reading a good book.  I'm not looking forward to fighting with the pilot on the heater and waiting for the singe of morning chill to burn off.  I am looking forward to decorating for Christmas.  I'm not looking forward to the long lines at the store or the rudiness of weary shoppers.

Soon it will be time to dig out the winter clothes and dust off the heavy coat.  I will brace myself to the first cold of morning as I reluctantly climb out of bed to get ready for work.  I will find only the good things to enjoy this winter and let the bad not bother me.  For I am thankful for what God has given me in a time when so many have lost everything. 

Winter is coming and I'm ready for it.